Found memories

Going back through some photos, which seems to be mostly what my life consists of at the moment as I pack away all the things we’ve needed to have on hand for the documentary project I’ve been working on, I found some photos from a friend’s wedding.

The wedding was decades ago, and looking through the images, it’s astonishing how much of it has faded, like old photos used to when left out in the sun. But these are digital, and those moments are frozen forever. Me leaning to the side to chat to a friend from school - what was I saying? Why are we laughing? - or dipping in to kiss my friend in her wedding gown, presumably in greeting, although the significance or insignificance of the moment is warped by time and by the choice the photographer made in selecting that image to frame and capture.

It dawned on me, as I looked at these pictures, that my friend and I seem to be (just from how we’re grinning into each other’s faces with love in our eyes, one of us wearing a wedding dress) getting married.

In a way, I suppose, now that the smaller moments are forgotten and the photographs remain, that’s exactly what happened that day. We loved each other for a moment that felt big, on top of the moments that feel small, and we hoped it would last forever.

This leads me to believe I probably accidentally married all my friends over the years. I intend to retrace my steps through memories and photographs and moments long forgotten, to reaffirm the vows I never uttered aloud, but always grinned full-pelt into my mates’ faces, while they grinned back at me.